Early Bedtime Means More Restful Sleep — And Possibly Later Wake Up!

  • 1
  • November 05, 2013

early bedtime I often get questions from parents about their children’s inability to stay asleep. These questions usually involve night wakings, children who refuse to go to sleep at ‘bedtime’, or early risers. I’ve found that quite frequently these same children have bedtimes that push past the recommended 7-8:00 p.m. mark, sometimes as late as 10:00 p.m. or midnight! This is a common problem, and there’s a surprisingly easy fix: you need to establish an early bedtime. I know that many parents are fearful of the old adage ‘early to bed, early to rise’, but in the case of our children, it just isn’t true.

In fact, the later you put your baby to bed, the more you run the risk of night wakings and early mornings. Once your child is out of the infant sleep stage — at around 6 months — it’s up to you to begin to build good sleep habits, and coach your child toward positive sleep practices.

A Note From The Sleep Lady: Interestingly, the ability stay up late and sleep in is often not developed until sometime between 6 and 8 years old. If you have a child who is able to do this earlier, then you can thank your lucky stars!

 

What Happens When My Child Goes to Sleep Too Late?

If you do nothing else, make sure that your child’s bedtime is biologically appropriate. This translates into EARLY. Think 1-2 hours after dinner. Remember, too late of a bedtime can lead to:

• Difficulty falling asleep,
• Early rising,
• Night wakings, and
• Less overall sleep.

Why Have a Consistent Bedtime?

I stress consistency quite a bit, and that’s because it’s incredibly important, not only for your baby’s sleep, but also for her confidence. Knowing that her needs are met consistently helps reassure her, as well as provides your child with the confidence that you will respond to her needs appropriately. When it comes to bedtime, consistency is key. This is especially true of small children, who have much shorter wakefulness windows than their parents.

We have talked about flexible schedules before, and they’re so incredibly important, especially when it comes to bedtimes. Keep a regular bedtime, started by a soothing bedtime routine about 30 to 60 minutes prior. To further encourage sleep, try to keep your evenings quiet: turn off the television, draw the blinds, read a book, do some puzzles, and limit high-energy activities. This will cue your child’s body to start producing melatonin, which helps encourage sleep.

Also, know that your baby’s bedtime may shift by 30 minutes some nights, especially as she gets older and her wakefulness window increases.

What Does “Early Bedtime” Mean?

It means early by adult standards. While it’s perfectly okay for you to stay up until 10:00 p.m., it’s definitely not okay for your baby.

A Note From The Sleep Lady: I understand that you may work late, or nighttime is the only time during the week that you get to see your baby, but keeping her up too late causes extreme fatigue. and doesn’t end up being the quality time you were hoping for. When your baby becomes overtired, she has a difficult time settling into a sleep pattern. Consequently, she will have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, and as she gets older, this problem wont’ just go away. If you put your child to sleep earlier (around 7:00 p.m.), she will have an easier time settling into sleep and has less chance of night wakings and early rising.

 

This goes back to those wakefulness windows again. Babies and toddlers are simply not capable of staying awake without getting that (not so wonderful) second wind that I’m sure you’re quite familiar with. Watch your baby for early sleepy signs, and start the bedtime routine when you see them, if not before.

early bedtime

For the majority of babies and toddlers, an “early bedtime” is around 7:00 p.m.

You may be wondering what to do if your child still takes a late afternoon nap. Quite honestly, if your child is napping at 5:00 p.m. and it’s throwing her bedtime back to 9:00 p.m. or later, it’s time to drop the late nap. Yes, it may be a challenge, but remember that uninterrupted nighttime sleep is important for her mood as well as her development. Understand that this may mean a hiatus for car rides, walks, the stroller, or any other sleep-inducing activities in the late afternoon, so please plan accordingly.

Should I Have a Bedtime Routine?

Your baby’s bedtime routine signals that it’s time for her to be sleepy. Make sure that you follow the same consistent, soothing bedtime routine each night. Your baby’s bedtime routine shouldn’t need to change much in the first three years, and can be as simple as bath, teeth, pajamas, story, bed.

A Note From The Sleep Lady: The ideal pre-sleep ritual for your baby should last no more than 20 to 30 minutes. Otherwise you’ll be asleep before it’s over! Choose 3 things that you do consistently each night and can continue as your child grows.

 

It’s also important to note that your child needs to be sleeping in the same place every night. Think of her bed as part of the routine, because it is! Having consistency is soothing, and ensuring that she is sleeping in the same bed each night will foster better sleep. I realize that travel may be inevitable, so it’s even more important to focus on consistency when you are home.

Drowsy But Awake

It’s important that your child learns to fall asleep without parental assistance. I’m not saying you can’t be supportive, you absolutely can, however, remember that sleep is a learned skill, and one that you have to teach your baby.

A Note From The Sleep Lady: When you put a sleeping child to bed, you are interfering with the development of their natural sleep triggers. Children need opportunity to experiment and find out what works for them. Remember with sleep, it is not what we do for our children, but what they learn to do for themselves. Learning to not jump in too quickly to rescue our children from frustration is difficult, but necessary. As with any taught lesson in childhood, from potty training to good manners, gentle guidance, praise, support and love are the keys to success.

 

RELATED: Drowsy But Awake — The Cornerstone of Successful Sleep Training

Don’t Push Bedtime Too Early

But what happens if you’re doing everything right? You put your baby to bed early, and she’s still experiencing sleep problems. Sometimes, I think that we overcompensate. If 7:00 p.m. is good, then 6:00 p.m. is even better, right? In this case, that’s problematic, and parents sometimes try to put their little ones down when they aren’t able to fall asleep because, well, your baby just isn’t sleepy.

Luckily, there’s an easy remedy to this. Put your baby to bed when she’s showing sleepy signs. If you need to, keep a sleep journal so that you can pinpoint the time when she begins to exhibit these signs. After a few days, you should be able to get ahead of her signs and start her bedtime routine before she’s overtired. The majority of babies and toddlers are ready for sleep around 7:00 p.m.

What About Late Afternoon Naps?

I mentioned this before, but if you find that your child isn’t tired in the evening, take a look at her naps. If she’s napping consistently in the late afternoon, this may be interfering with her bedtime. You may want to shift her late afternoon nap to earlier afternoon or eliminate it altogether if your child still takes three naps.

If you’re not overestimating your baby’s bedtime, take a look at the current status of your sleep coaching, and, if needed, repeat The Shuffle for a few nights to help reinforce the good sleep habits that she’s learned.

Kim West
Kim is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has been a practicing child and family therapist for more than 24 years, and the creator of the original gentle, proven method to get a good night’s sleep for you and your child. She is the author of The Sleep Lady's Good Night Sleep Tight, its companion Workbook and 52 Sleep Secrets for Babies. Click here to read more about her.

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21 Comments

  • breefawn says:

    Hi, Wally3! Based on the chart above, the average daytime sleep is 2.25 to 2.5 hours, which he is definitely exceeding, and you may want to look at his bedtime, as well, as most toddlers are ready for sleep a bit earlier. I suggest that you post your question on The Sleep Lady’s http://www.facebook.com/thesleeplady, where a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach can help you more 🙂
    Good luck!

  • breefawn says:

    Hi, Wally3! Based on the chart above, the average daytime sleep is 2.25 to 2.5 hours, which he is definitely exceeding, and you may want to look at his bedtime, as well, as most toddlers are ready for sleep a bit earlier. I suggest that you post your question on The Sleep Lady’s http://www.facebook.com/thesleeplady, where a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach can help you more 🙂
    Good luck!

  • breefawn says:

    TellurideBride I’m so glad that he’s sleeping so well for you!

  • breefawn says:

    TellurideBride I’m so glad that he’s sleeping so well for you!

  • Jenhallie says:

    My 4 month old has just started “waking up.”  My once wonderful sleeper (6 hrs, wake up, nurse, sleep until 6) now is up and down all night long.  I’m starting to implement “Drowsy but Awake” however, sometimes I think I start it too early and miss the whole nap window, because he seems to get agitated after awhile.  Yesterday, I couldn’t get him into his late afternoon nap, so I ended up putting him to bed at 6:45.  He woke up at 11:30, 1:30, 3, 5, and 7.  I’m trying really hard not to nurse him to sleep, but I also have a 2 1/2 year old, and I need enough energy for her, too.  Suggestions?

  • Jenhallie says:

    My 4 month old has just started “waking up.”  My once wonderful sleeper (6 hrs, wake up, nurse, sleep until 6) now is up and down all night long.  I’m starting to implement “Drowsy but Awake” however, sometimes I think I start it too early and miss the whole nap window, because he seems to get agitated after awhile.  Yesterday, I couldn’t get him into his late afternoon nap, so I ended up putting him to bed at 6:45.  He woke up at 11:30, 1:30, 3, 5, and 7.  I’m trying really hard not to nurse him to sleep, but I also have a 2 1/2 year old, and I need enough energy for her, too.  Suggestions?

  • breefawn says:

    Jenhallie that sounds frustrating! At 4 months, you baby may be going through http://www.sleeplady.com/baby-sleep/4-month-sleep-regression/, which would explain the erratic sleep patterns. 4 months is still young, too. You may want to consider posting your question on The Sleep Lady’s http://www.facebook.com/thesleeplady where a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach may have other suggestions. Good luck!

  • breefawn says:

    Jenhallie that sounds frustrating! At 4 months, you baby may be going through http://www.sleeplady.com/baby-sleep/4-month-sleep-regression/, which would explain the erratic sleep patterns. 4 months is still young, too. You may want to consider posting your question on The Sleep Lady’s http://www.facebook.com/thesleeplady where a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach may have other suggestions. Good luck!

  • HelenNaumG says:

    I am very frustrated with our sleep habits. Our kids need to get to bed earlier. As a working mom (PT only) I do not get home from work until after 6pm. To get dinner ready, eat, get ready for bed which on some nights involves a bath appears impossible to achieve before 8pm. I also want time to play with my kids since I was away from them all day. I cannot figure out the happy medium for this situation.

  • HelenNaumG says:

    I am very frustrated with our sleep habits. Our kids need to get to bed earlier. As a working mom (PT only) I do not get home from work until after 6pm. To get dinner ready, eat, get ready for bed which on some nights involves a bath appears impossible to achieve before 8pm. I also want time to play with my kids since I was away from them all day. I cannot figure out the happy medium for this situation.

  • breefawn says:

    HelenNaumG I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Late bedtimes can cause daytime sleep issues, as mentioned in the above article. I suggest that you post your question on http://www.facebook.com/thesleeplady, where a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach can help you out! Good luck!! 🙂

  • breefawn says:

    HelenNaumG I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Late bedtimes can cause daytime sleep issues, as mentioned in the above article. I suggest that you post your question on http://www.facebook.com/thesleeplady, where a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach can help you out! Good luck!! 🙂

  • priscolino says:

    My 15 months old goes to bed quite late (around 10 pm) but she sleeps perfectly through the night an normally wakes up around 9 am. Then, during the day, she takes two naps of 1.5 hour or so each. (my husband and I are also the owls type). She’s not cranky at all (at least until around 9.30 p.m.), and we are very happy since we get to spend time with her, go out for dinner or to concerts etc with her, etc.  But I keep reading about the importance of early bed time, and I wonder: is there any problem I don’t see with our method?

  • priscolino says:

    My 15 months old goes to bed quite late (around 10 pm) but she sleeps perfectly through the night an normally wakes up around 9 am. Then, during the day, she takes two naps of 1.5 hour or so each. (my husband and I are also the owls type). She’s not cranky at all (at least until around 9.30 p.m.), and we are very happy since we get to spend time with her, go out for dinner or to concerts etc with her, etc.  But I keep reading about the importance of early bed time, and I wonder: is there any problem I don’t see with our method?

  • priscolino says:

    My 15 months old goes to bed quite late (around 10 pm) but she sleeps perfectly through the night an normally wakes up around 9 am. Then, during the day, she takes two naps of 1.5 hour or so each. (my husband and I are also the owls type). She’s not cranky at all (at least until around 9.30 p.m.), and we are very happy since we get to spend time with her, go out for dinner or to concerts etc with her, etc.  But I keep reading about the importance of early bed time, and I wonder: is there any problem I don’t see with our method?

  • breefawn says:

    priscolino  If it’s working for you, that’s great. Just be prepared that you may have to adjust her scheduled as she gets older 🙂

  • breefawn says:

    priscolino  If it’s working for you, that’s great. Just be prepared that you may have to adjust her scheduled as she gets older 🙂

  • breefawn says:

    Lyndseyrenee  I can see why you’re frustrated!! I would recommend that you post your question on http://www.facebook.com/thesleeplady for this week’s Featured Gentle Sleep Coach, or contact a http://www.sleeplady.com/services close to you so that you can get some help and support. The Sleep Lady’s method definitely does not require that you cry-it-out, and it WORKS.

  • breefawn says:

    Lyndseyrenee  I can see why you’re frustrated!! I would recommend that you post your question on http://www.facebook.com/thesleeplady for this week’s Featured Gentle Sleep Coach, or contact a http://www.sleeplady.com/services close to you so that you can get some help and support. The Sleep Lady’s method definitely does not require that you cry-it-out, and it WORKS.

  • breefawn says:

    Nellio  That’s not good! I recommend that you post your question on http://www.facebook.com/thesleeplady. Also, please review this article on early rising: http://www.sleeplady.com/early-rising-2/8-tips-to-resolve-early-rising/

  • breefawn says:

    Nellio  That’s not good! I recommend that you post your question on http://www.facebook.com/thesleeplady. Also, please review this article on early rising: http://www.sleeplady.com/early-rising-2/8-tips-to-resolve-early-rising/