Second baby coming! How Long Should We Roomshare?!

  • 0
  • August 18, 2010

roomshare with second baby

“I’m pregnant with my second child.  My son will be 3 when the new baby comes.  He is a great sleeper.  We live in a small 2 bedroom townhouse.. so my concern is how long should the baby roomshare with my husband and I before moving the 2 kids to the same room?  I’m worried that the baby will be waking up my 3 year old during the night…but at the same time, I don’t want the baby to be used to sleeping in our room for too long (it’s also a small room so once the baby outgrows the cradle…I won’t be able to fit a crib in there). I’d love your expert advice!!”


Consider Roomsharing


Congratulations on the upcoming arrival of baby #2! Given your room set up, I think  it makes the most sense to have your baby sleep in the cradle in your room, or roomshare,  until he or she sleeps through the night.  Consider buying a sound screen or white noise maker for your son’s room so he won’t hear the baby wake during the night. Read the two chapters in “Good Night, Sleep Tight” about newborns, especially “The Right Start for Newborns and Infants”. If you follow my “8 Rules of Infant Slumber” with your new baby and gently sleep shape, you won’t have to sleep coach him or her later! Once the baby knows how to put him or herself back to sleep, he or she can take that skill everywhere!


Stack Bedtimes


Once you are ready to transition the baby to the toddler’s room so that they can roomshare, you may have to put the baby to bed before your toddler. That would mean the preschooler would have to have his bedtime routine in another room and then get in to bed quietly while his sibling is sleeping. Teach him some “sleep manners”; such as, “no talking to, playing with, or waking the baby when he is asleep”. Explain that it’s so special to share a room and its important to have good sleep manners.

Hope that helps!

Sweet dreams,


Gentle Baby Solutions
Kim West
Kim is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has been a practicing child and family therapist for more than 24 years, and the creator of the original gentle, proven method to get a good night’s sleep for you and your child. She is the author of The Sleep Lady's Good Night Sleep Tight, its companion Workbook and 52 Sleep Secrets for Babies. Click here to read more about her.

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  • Angela says:

    We did this same thing with our two daughters who are the same age difference as the children described above. I made sure to do a lot of talking with the older one about how exciting it would be to share a room well ahead of time. She was so happy when the day finally came that we moved the baby into her room. We would read stories, etc. in my room, and she was very good about staying quiet when it was time to go to bed with the sleeping baby in the same room. Good luck to you!

    • KimWest says:

      Angela, thanks for supporting the other parents on this blog! How you “pitch” sharing a room really matters.
      So glad you had sleep success yourself! Kim

  • mangiabella says:

    great post! I have a 2 year old who has been trained precisely according to the sleep lady methods, it’s been bliss. I now have a 5 month old who also has been trained, and was sleeping thru the night by 8 weeks, however, he started having stomach problems, and that kept waking him up – in fear of his crying waking up his sister, we of course would get him right away – he has since been sick with ear infections, sinus infections, and an allergic reaction to medication that had him getting up 4 – 8 times a night! that’s worse than when he was born – how can we get things back on track??

    • KimWest says:

      Oh dear…routine busters like sicknesses can certainly get our children off track! We definitely need to respond and reassure our children when they are sick, knowing that we can always undo later any bad habits we may start. Obviously the less you regress the better but life happens. I understand!
      Check out the section “Routine Childhood Illnesses” in Chapter 16 in my book “Good Night, Sleep Tight. Once your son is feeling better you can do a modified, quicker version of the Shuffle to help “remind” him of his sleep skills! Good luck!

  • Jaime Huestis says:

    Thank you for this post! This is EXACTLY what we are about to experience in a few short weeks… I was pondering the same question and loved hearing Kim’s feedback. The Good Night Sleep Tight book saved us with our first child and fully intent on using the techniques with our precious #2.

    Thanks again! Jaime

  • Robin says:

    We are going through the same thing right now except my 11 week old is in her own room which shares a wall with her 21mo old brother’s room. We fought a long hard 9 month battle to get my son to sleep through the night and are trying our best to not make the same mistakes with my daughter. She’s getting pretty good about settling into sleep solo but seems to be having trouble transitioning from one cycle to the next. (and this is only sometimes…she has no issue if my timing is right on!) She is swaddled with hands underneath her face so she can reach her fingers to self soothe…but it seems that the swaddle may be causing more issues than help. How do I know when to ditch the swaddle and how?? Do we go cold turkey for naps? Night time?? She only wakes 1time to eat around 4 and I am afraid to mess up a good thing!! Help!
    Thanks in advance…

  • prafulla1234 says:

    Congratulation on upcoming arrival of baby No-2.Thanks you for this post because this is exactly we are about experience in a few short weeks.So thanks for sharing your problem.