Managing Expectations and Supporting Parents with LUMO

Managing Expectations and Supporting Parents with LUMO

On today’s episode of The Gentle Parenting Show, Kim is joined by Sarah Olin and Anna Conathan. Sarah is the founder and CEO of LUMO, and Anna is the co-founder, senior partner, and Chief Creative Officer of LUMO. LUMO’s mission is to support women in their pursuit and creation of great lives. Today the three ladies will talk about managing expectations as parents, how to support working parents, and LUMO’s mission. 

LUMO – Supporting Parents 

Many years ago, Sarah was working as a leadership coach. She found she was attracting women who were similar to her in the fact that they had a really great life on paper, but something wasn’t adding up. They weren’t feeling fully satisfied and were exhausted. Through working with her own coach, Sarah was asked “who would you need to be to create your dream life?” and Sarah answered “a luscious mother”.

This “luscious mother” became her moniker. She started hosting retreats for women and became busy building this business. She reached out to Anna, her best friend, who helped Sarah really narrow the focus of the company. LUMO was born and together they’ve created a team of talented, creative, and determined women. The LUMO mission believes that “if parents are seen, heard, supported, nurtured, loved and empowered, it’s going to change the world.”

Supporting Working Parents

Since the COVID-19 pandemic, the workforce has changed, and so many parents are working outside or inside of the home. Working parents, particularly mothers, experience a lot of guilt around work. Kim recalls a point in her career when her daughter felt her mom loved work more than her own child, which only added to Kim’s working parent guilt. With advice from a colleague, she realized she had to teach her children that she had enough love for all of it – she had enough love to give her children and her job. As adults, Kim’s daughter now realizes this and is empowered to do anything with her own life too. 

Anna shares her experience as a working parent that life is sometimes a spiral – you’ll keep learning the same things over and over.  One of the biggest lessons she’s learned is that when she gives up the fights and is fully herself, she finds more success. Early in motherhood, she felt like a failure because birth and postpartum didn’t go how she had planned. The story popped into her mind that she was the worst at everything, and could never finish anything. 

As parents, we’re engrained that everything is our fault when in reality, we need to be supported by a village to protect each other. Life is about raising your children to be good, solid people but also about supporting each other. LUMO asks parents, businesses, and everyone how we can support each other to be the best version of themselves. 

What LUMO Offers 

LUMO works with companies as trained leadership coaches. Depending on the size and capacity of the company, they offer 1:1 training or company-wide support. They offer a parent support network to talk about everything from burnout to guilt. Their premier program is the “Expecting Parents Online Program.” This takes parents through checklists, information, and support on everything from parental leave, to integrating back into work, and so much more. 

When it comes to working with companies as a whole, LUMO works with small to large companies that have upwards of 40,000 parents go out on paternal leave a year. They offer solutions for companies to pay for packages, or individuals to pay for the services themselves and get reimbursed. 

Expectation as Parents  

One of the best quotes from this episode is “Expectations are dangerous. 99% of the time, they lead to upset, frustration, and disappointment.” One thing Sarah points out is that expectations are dangerous because we don’t even know we have them until after the fact. This happens both personally and professionally. Unspoken requests are expectations – or as the LUMO  ladies call it “relationship via mind reading” and we set people up to lose. But as parents, we often set expectations around our children and partners. LUMO teaches us to go from expectations to intentions and agreements which creates a win-win situation. They are even offering a FREE “Dangerous Expectations Worksheet” that you can get RIGHT HERE.

Supporting Parents Through Paradoxes 

Something any parent, especially working parents, faces is a paradox. They may be so excited to head back to work after the baby while often feeling heartbroken to leave their baby. When it comes to paradoxical living, it’s so important for new parents to not feel alone. The LUMO ladies say “it’s hard for everyone in different ways.”

A way to combat this is to stop the comparison game, especially on social media. Sarah says to stop comparing your backstage life to someone’s front stage that they’re posting. Supporting parents through these paradoxes is an everyone problem – from partners to workplaces to employers. Sarah says “when people come together and have conversations, it kills comparison.” 

More From LUMO

If you want to learn more about LUMO’s mission,  head to their website for free resources, and tools for working with LUMO. Follow along on social media, Instagram, and Facebook for daily inspiration, tips, and support.