Sleep Training Twins: Even In The Same Room

In this article:

• Respecting each child’s personality
• Creating a sleep log
• Planning long-term sleep arrangements
• Choosing the right sleep training metho

 

Respect Each Twin’s Individuality

Twins might share a birthday, but they rarely share sleep styles. I have often found that when it comes to twins, there is one that loves to sleep and one that just has a more difficult time settling in to sleep. One may doze off with ease while the other struggles to settle—often the more alert or sensitive twin. These differences matter when sleep coaching. Research shows that sleep quality and duration are partly genetic, which helps explain why one twin might be an easier sleeper than the other. ((Madrid-Valero et al., 2020).

 

Also factor in their adjusted age, especially if your twins were born early. Developmentally, they might not be ready for sleep training just yet. If your twins are 16 weeks old but born at 38 weeks, they’re more like 14 weeks adjusted. Always check with your pediatrician before you start.

 

Be Realistic About the Process

You probably already know which twin is the lighter sleeper. That difference means sleep training will take longer. I recommend starting with bedtime and overnight sleep. Be prepared: your twins may wake each other up in the beginning. That’s normal—even siblings sharing a room do it.

Try this: respond to the first baby who wakes, then tend to the second if needed. Some parents sit between the cribs the first week. That’s fine. It does get easier.

 

 

 

Keep a Sleep Log

For twins, a sleep log isn’t optional—it’s essential. Track:

• Feeding times

• Nap times and lengths

• Wake-up times

• Night wakings

• How long it took to fall asleep

• How you helped (or didn’t help)

• Mood changes

Log at least 7 days before starting sleep training. You’ll see patterns and learn how each baby shows they’re ready for sleep.

 

 

 

Plan Long-Term Sleep Arrangements

There are really only two ways to sleep coach your twins:

• Together
• Separately

You are probably like most other parents and worry about your babies waking each other from crying. As I mentioned earlier this can certainly happen early on, but it is possible — and quite typical — for your twins to learn to tune each other out and sleep through their siblings’ cries.

This is where your long-term plan comes in to play. If your goal is to have the twins sleep overnight in the same room, then you should sleep coach them as such. If you plan is to have them sleep in separate rooms, then sleep coach them in their separate spaces. Sometimes I recommend sleep twins twins separately for the first couple of weeks if one twin is already sleeping well.

Often when working with parents of multiples, I recommend they sleep coach at night in the same room and separate the children for naps, even if that means using a portable crib in a different room. If you choose to follow this plan, have the “easier sleeper” nap in the portable crib and then return them to their regular crib in the shared room once both babies are napping better. Some parents also opt to keep both twins napping separately until they stop napping altogether.

Another factor to address while you are making plans to sleep coach is to prepare your children’s bedroom(s) for optimal sleep. Consider these recommendations:

• Room darkening shades
• White noise (for outside and/ or inside noise)
• Stimulating toys removed from the crib area
• Decorating palette soft and neutral

 

 

 

Use Your Flexible Schedule

As parents of twins, perhaps the most important thing you can do to teach your babies how to sleep is to keep a flexible schedule. When you have a flexible schedule, you can help to ensure that your twins don’t become overtired.

You have the added challenge of watching not just one, but two babies for sleepy cues. This is where your sleep logs will come in very handy. You’ll see patterns and notes about how each child shows you they are ready for sleep. From Good Night, Sleep Tight:

One trick is to make sure they are awake in the morning within about a half hour of each other. Then coordinate morning naps. For instance, if one twin gets up naturally at 7:00 a.m. and the other gets up at 8:00, wake the sleepyhead at 7:00 too- or maybe let him sleep until 7:30 while you feed the early riser.
Then they will both be ready to go down for their nap at around 9:00 or 9:30. Similarly, if one tends to take a longer morning nap, start waking him up earlier, so they remain in sync for the afternoon nap. And that afternoon nap is his catch-up opportunity- the one who needs more sleep can take a longer afternoon snooze, and you will still have a long enough gap between the nap and bedtime so that you can put them down together.
You might have to tweak their schedules periodically because at different times, their sleep needs might diverge a bit more, depending on when each child goes through growth spurts or hits developmental milestones.

 

 

Pick a Sleep Coaching Method

There are four basic types:

• Controlled crying

• Cry-it-out

• Fading

• No-cry

I recommend “The Shuffle,” a fading method with lots of parental involvement. You stay next to the crib, gradually moving farther away as your baby learns to fall asleep solo.

If possible, split duties—one parent per child. Sit by each crib during the first few nights. Eventually, one parent can manage both while the other gets a break.

Whatever method you choose, consistency is key. You know your twins best. Choose what fits your parenting style—and stick with it.

 

Sleep Training Twins In The Same Room

 

 

Getting Sleep Yourself

Sleep coaching twins isn’t just about your babies — it affects your sleep, too. In fact, research shows (Damato & Zupancic, 2009) that many of the strategies parents try in the early months, like tag-teaming care or taking night shifts, haven’t been studied for how well they actually help. And often, couples don’t agree on what’s working! That’s why it’s so important to find what helps you get rest — and to be honest about your own needs. Your sleep matters just as much as your babies

 

Citations

Madrid-Valero, J. J., Rubio-Aparicio, M., Gregory, A. M., Sánchez-Meca, J., & Ordoñana, J. R. (2020). Twin studies of subjective sleep quality and sleep duration, and their behavioral correlates: Systematic review and meta-analysis of heritability estimates. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 109, 78-89.  https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0149763419306554?via%3Dihub 

 

Damato, E. G., & Zupancic, J. (2009). Strategies used by parents of twins to obtain sleep. Applied Nursing Research, 22(3), 216–220. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.apnr.2007.07.004