When parents hear sleep training, many think of leaving a baby to cry alone. This approach—commonly known as Ferber or “cry-it-out”—is rooted in behavioral theory and has been the dominant framework in research for decades, but that doesn’t mean it works for every family. In fact, many parents find it stressful, counterintuitive, or simply ineffective.
A recent Psychology Today article by Macall Gordon M.A. explored this gap and pointed to responsive alternatives, including the Sleep Lady Shuffle (sometimes referred to as the “Chair Method”), as effective evidence-based options. “This mindset is more congruent with how we teach babies and children every other skill—walking, feeding themselves, riding a bike. The parent helps a lot at first and then reduces how much they need to do”, says Gordon.
Why Parents Struggle With “Cry-It-Out”
Research has shown:
- Dropout rates for extinction methods can be as high as 40–50%.
- Many parents report distress at having to ignore their baby’s crying.
- Extinction often works best only for very mellow babies.
- Sensitive or spirited children may cry hard for many nights, with no clear endpoint.
What Gentle Methods Offer Instead
The article highlights approaches like the Shuffle, which allow parents to stay present and gradually reduce their support. Studies show these methods:
- Are equally effective as Ferber for helping babies learn to sleep.
- Result in fewer night wakings.
- Lead to less parental stress, especially for mothers.
- Works for sensitive or reactive children who struggle with extinction methods.
- Give families flexibility during illness, travel, or big transitions.
Rethinking Sleep Training Choices
As Psychology Today suggests, sleep training doesn’t have to mean choosing between extremes—cry-it-out or co-sleeping. Families benefit most when they have a range of gentle, evidence-based options that respect both the child’s temperament and the parents’ instincts.
Information adapted from Macall Gordon, M.A., Psychology Today
