If you’ve tried every sleep training technique out there—Ferber, pop-ins, co-sleeping, melatonin, and even a bit of prayer—yet nothing seems to help your child settle, here’s some reassuring news: it’s not a matter of what you’ve done or not. The reason many common methods haven’t worked likely lies in your child’s unique temperament. While some children adapt easily with a little encouragement, others—what we’ll call “livewires”—may need a different approach altogether.
What Is a Livewire?
Livewires are children who seem to have more “juice” running through their system. They’re highly sensitive, deeply engaged, and incredibly perceptive. They might be a little louder, more active, and more persistent than other children their age, and they notice and feel everything. Trying to use conventional sleep methods with livewires often doesn’t lead to a few nights of crying and then smooth sleep; it might mean hours of resistance or more trouble than you started with. These children need an entirely different approach.
Does this sound familiar? Many livewires share traits like:
- Early alertness: Eyes wide open and seemingly aware of their surroundings right from birth.
- Intense crying: Nurses in the hospital might have even commented on your child’s powerful cry.
- Sleep resistance: Showing a surprising ability to resist sleep from infancy.
- Visual engagement: Focusing on faces and pictures very early on.
- High physical activity: Preferring movement (like bouncing) over stillness to fall asleep.
Using typical sleep training methods on a livewire is like trying to operate a Mac with a PC manual; what works for some kids simply doesn’t apply here. So, it’s not your fault or a lack of trying—it’s just that your child is wired differently.
The Role of Temperament in Sleep
When we talk about temperament, we’re referring to the neurological wiring that helps us process the world. For most children (non-livewires), this wiring is fairly adaptable, but about 20 percent of kids are “orchids”—or what we’re calling livewires—who are far more sensitive to their surroundings and stimuli. They pick up on subtleties that other children might not even notice and react much more intensely.
Research shows that children can be roughly categorized into two types:
- Dandelions: Like the hardy plant, dandelion children can thrive in various environments and adapt to new sleep routines more easily.
- Orchids: Orchids are more delicate and require specific conditions to flourish. These are our livewires who, without the right environment, find sleep training especially challenging.
In stressful or overstimulating situations, a dandelion child may handle it with little fuss, but an orchid (or livewire) can be deeply affected and take longer to recover.
The Bright Side of Raising a Livewire
If you’re exhausted and struggling, it may feel like having a livewire child is difficult, but these traits do come with a bright side. Livewires are incredibly bright, responsive, and full of personality. Right now, it may feel like you’re managing an engine that’s too powerful, but over time, as your child learns to manage their temperament, their unique qualities can shine.
Why Won’t You Sleep? A Different Approach to Typical Sleep Training Techniques
By now, you probably know that the path to good sleep isn’t straightforward. For livewires, sleep isn’t about “habits” that need to be broken; it’s about encouraging sustainable patterns in a way that respects their temperament. In Why Won’t You Sleep? researcher and sleep coach Macall Gordon joins forces with the Sleep Lady, Kim West, to help children who are resistant to traditional sleep training methods.
This book offers a compassionate, research-backed approach that actually works. It’s not about quick fixes or letting your child cry it out—it’s about understanding their unique temperament.
